Navigating Another Big Transition…My Journey
The last time a life transition rocked me to my core was the summer of 2006. One specific moment lives rent free in my memory. I was home alone, recovering from a sentinel node biopsy that I was told would be "no big deal," when the caller ID on my flip phone showed the local cancer hospital. After a mole removal from my leg came back thicker than expected, I was referred to an oncologist who removed the first three lymph nodes to make sure nothing had spread. The voice on the other end said, "The cancer has spread. You have Stage 3 melanoma." I fell to the floor and felt like I could not breathe. As I laid there alone, crying hysterically until a family member could rush home, I remember thinking my life was over. I was 24 years old.
Fast forward 20 years later and I have felt grateful almost every day. Grateful that the second surgery found nothing else and that I have been cancer free for 20 years. Grateful that through the surgeries, treatments, and fear, I was able to find a steady, unshakable hope and resilience within myself that will always have my back. Grateful that I dove head-first into a joyful career as a cancer fundraiser, and grateful for my family and friends. As the years passed, although there were many more changes, hardships, and lots of joy, I almost forgot how hard a massive transition could be.
Thankfully my current transition is not life altering, just career altering. As I reflect on my recent career transition and grapple with the struggles of building a small business from scratch, losing one professional identity, and embracing a new one, I am reminded that any big transition has similar aspects needed to survive it. Below are three critical components of managing transitions to get through them not just in one piece, but stronger than before.
1. Cognitive Reframing
Evidence-based strategies for managing big transitions consistently show that instead of viewing these events as a loss of control, seeing them as a chance to grow significantly reduces stress and improves emotional outcomes. (Enter my good friends, hope and resilience.) One foundational voice in the human transitions realm, William Bridges, summarizes the essence of transitions beautifully:
"While change can occur randomly, transition is developmental and full of personal meaning. Transition is also the primary source of personal renewal."
I believe the mindset shift is really just choosing your voice and driving your own story, versus letting the transition be something that simply happened to you.
2. External Support
Research from the counseling psychology field identifies social support as one of the most powerful protective factors during any major transition. It is no surprise that a lack of support during difficult moments makes things harder.
But what actually happens in the brain during a major life transition? The brain operates under genuine threat conditions. Uncertainty activates the amygdala, the brain's fear and threat detection center, in the same way physical danger does. When the amygdala is activated, cortisol rises, executive function and creativity decrease, and the ability to think long-term or take strategic action is threatened.
Social connection, however, regulates this response. Human contact, including feeling heard and supported, activates the parasympathetic nervous system and releases oxytocin, which directly counteracts the cortisol response. This means that social support is not just emotionally comforting during a transition but neurologically enabling.
In short, go find your people and your cheerleaders and keep them close.
3. Identity Reconstruction
Reconstructing your role and the identity you attach to it can have significant outcomes. Focusing on things like re-evaluating your purpose, redefining what success means to you, and integrating past experiences can help you adjust your identity to fit the transition. When you identify transferable skills, acquire new ones, and adapt to new environments, you will likely experience real growth in self-awareness, resilience, and empowerment.
Successful transition requires answering the question "who am I now?" not just "what will I do next?" For me in 2006, that meant reconstructing my identity from someone diagnosed with cancer into someone who was a cancer survivor actively fighting it and using the experience as a catalyst for change. In the present day, it means shifting from "I am a fundraiser who is skilled at motivating people and building trusting relationships," into this:
"Because I am skilled at motivating people and building trusting relationships, I was a fundraiser for a while, and now I can apply those skills as a career coach."
Every single one of these components, cognitive reframing, external support, and identity reconstruction, got me through my cancer journey and are once again actively revealing themselves in my current transition. These are certainly not simple aspects to attend to. For me, I have to constantly remind myself to lean into the discomfort and challenge of it all, because this is where the true growth happens.
If I can help in your own career transition, please check out my services page and I would love to connect!
